Starting the discussion

Toward College Success: Is Your Teenager Ready, Willing, and Able will be launched soon, giving parents of high school and middle school students a resource with which they can evaluate their teenager’s readiness for college and life beyond high school. Check out my Web site for more information about the book: http://www.pcaroljones.com

And with that launch, I would like to open this forum as a place for parents, guardians, and anyone else interested in preparing teenagers for success in college and beyond to discuss, brainstorm, and hash out any related issues. How is your teenager handling that “hard” math teacher? What are you going to do now that your daughter just got her second speeding ticket? How is your son handling his increasing load of activities, schoolwork, and part-time job?

I’ll start the discussion based on a conversation I had with the dad of a junior in high school. His daughter is a good student, but she recently announced that she does not want to go to college straight out of high school. She wants to take some time off. Dad is not real comfortable with the idea.

I suggested he help her figure out just what to do. First, be glad she sees that she needs some time off. Forcing a teenager to go straight into college after high school often backfires—at a very steep cost. The student needs to buy in to the idea, and many students simply are not ready or willing. Dad needs to start brainstorming with his daughter—and he needs to listen to her ideas. What are the options? Does she want to just work a while and save up some money? Does she want to participate in an organized gap year program? Does she want to explore a trade that requires some training? Is she interested in the military?

Dad should sit down with her and make a list of the possibilities. He should ask her to research each possibility. Also, he should make his expectations known. How much financial responsibility will she take on once she graduates from high school? Where will she live? What transportation will she have? Does she have savings now? Have her do some research on the cost of living on her own.

As she moves into her senior year, Dad should encourage her to apply to one or two schools just in case she changes her mind. If she still wants that year off, keep the discussion going. She may need reminders to get organized, but let her do the planning, find the answers, and get prepared. That is her best chance for success.

What do you have to add? If you’ve had this experience, share what happened.